The Happiest Memory in the Deepest Corners of your Mind

I just came back from watching a movie that could most probably be my favorite movie of the year. It has a good story line, a very charming lead character that had temporarily stolen my heart and harsh reality that left one to ponder upon. Although I already knew magneto had joined the dark side, but at that scene when he was about to reach a point of no return when he killed the guy who was partly responsible of turning him into the villain he is, I couldn’t help but hope against hope that he will not cross the path of no return.

As much as I would like to be all optimistic, I had always believed that each person when pushed past their limits, might succumb to the pressure and take a path of no return. Once they had crossed the boundary, there will be no turning back and even if they manage to by chance of a miracle, things will never be the same anymore. Most times, a person is the way they are due to the environments and circumstances.

I guess this is why I am so taken by professor x. the most attractive quality in him is the ability to see the good in all people, even in people who doesn’t believe in us and the nurturing quality in him. After watching the movie, I am all inspired to pursue a teaching career. I should probably give a shot at joining the L&D department although the chances are minute.

Today, we stayed to watch all the credits. I had always loved to watch the credits and I usually do when I watch movies at home. I had never met anyone who shares my peculiar interest. But these days, there seem to be a good reason to make my friends stayed and watch the credits with me. The teasers at the very end. =)

Dessert treats

 

Met up with Melissa for a catch up session today. Over some great cakes, our favourite macarons and a pot of calming tea, we spent hours just updating each other on the usual and not so usual stuff in our lives, our work, our friends and life in general. I am really glad to know that she’s in the midst of transitioning to a new position and responsibilities at work.

Transitions are always difficult but usually worth it. Especially when she will be moving on to something she had a great talent and passion for even since school days. Although it will be a new territory, I am sure her passion in it will see her through. The most awesome part is her boss totally acknowledge her talent in that area and will be sponsoring her for a course to brush up her skills in that field. Its really nice to see how things had a way of working itself out.

Sometimes in life after a few wrong turns, we often find ourselves losing directions and unsure of what we really want and start to have doubts on goals we were so determined to achieve just a few moments earlier. We might not always get out of the maze unscathed, but whats definite is while figuring the way, we would have picked up some lessons along the way and a better understanding of ourselves. I had read somewhere that as we get older, life will gently guide us to where we belong and we will know it when we are there =)

Although I am still unsure of what path will I be taking after my stint in auditing, I aren’t that apprehensive of it now. I am just slightly worried about my constant need for change and the fact that I still cant really settle down and seems to get bored of mundane routine life easily. A tiny part deep inside me still always yearns to do something crazy to break out from the conformity. Perhaps I just hadn’t reach my point of equilibrium yet.

Unsent letters

Despite the imminent dawn of my 1st day at work at KPMG, there are still
fleeting moments that i felt that all this is so surreal. I had finally gather
up enough courage to leave my sandbox and luckily, i am granted the opportunity
to do so. The prospect of finally leaving my warm and safe sandbox is all
exciting yet daunting at the same time. A part of me cant wait for next week to
come as after years of procrastinating, I am finally taking the big step. But of
course, there is another small part of me, the “penakut” in me that is still
apprehensive of all things. Being in a new environment, socialising with new
colleagues, being on my own and learning how to take care of myself.

Somehow, I felt that no matter what is in store in the future for me, I can feel
that you are proud of me that I had finally take things into my own hand
(actually its more like grabbing the opportunity that is thrusted into my hands)
and had decided to just ignore the “penakut” in me and take a big step forward.

I recall the last time we had a conversation about our emails correspondence, it
wasnt all that happy stuff. You were severely disappointed and angry with me and
the most infuriating part will be that I cant even see the reason why you are so
upset with me.

Letters from long ago

today, while chatting with a friend, i had a sudden urge to relive my blog. what triggered it was the realisation that what i felt about a certain event  has changed so completely in just a span of a few months without anyone including myself even noticing it. i actually visited my own blog feeling like a complete stranger. the interface, the headings are so familiar and yet, so distant. i felt like a stranger staring at a series of flashbacks of my own self from a long time ago. i read the comments that were written by some of my closest friends that i seem to have lost touch with but still adamantly refuse to admit. i m still insistently stubborn that in a way we are still in each others life although we dont really keep in touch or hang out as much as we used to. reading the comments made me realise that things are way different now as i had totally forgotten how close i used to be with some of my closest friends. friends that i had always wanted to write a tribute to them on my blog, to preserve the special memories forever. right now, while listening to the songs stored in my external hard disk, i seem to have been transported back to the time when i was a student in usm, when my blog was still alive, and i am still very close and connected to most of my close friends. hopefully its still not too late to reconnect with my long lost friends from one of the happiest periods in my life =) wish me luck.

Memorable September KL Trip

2 years ago, i had the opportunity to really explore KL as a tourist with a bunch of my most favourite people =)

armed with just a map that shows the LRT route and a notebook with pieces of info i had searched from the internet, we toured JB, Malacca and Kuala Lumpur in the most touristy way you can imagine.

we arrived at Pudu at almost midnight and checked into a backpackers hostel that is tucked behind the bustling streets of Bukit Bintang. it was a surprisingly clean place and the staff are really friendly. my expectations was much lower as it was really cheap. that night itself, we sit around the living room, surrounded by brochures and got down to some serious planning. being the only malaysian from the group, i had googled pertinent facts such as places to visit, how to get there, the admission charges beforehand.

we got up really early to queue up for  the highly coveted tickets for the skybridge visit at KLCC, the world’s tallest twin towers. the tickets are free but only 800 tickets are available daily. the guided tour of the suspended bridge on the 41th floor that connects the twin towers offers a panoramic view.

although the queue was pretty long, it was definitely worth it!

during the queue, we got bored and started camwhoring with pretty backdrop

although i had been to the KLCC shopping complexes soo many times, i had never went up to the skybridge before. it was an awesome experience.

before we were brought to the skybridge, there was a briefing.  we were shown a short video that explained how the magnificent twin towers was built, its structure and stuff. although i know of a lot of people(not the people that i travelled with) who felt that the video was boring and pointless, i was intrigued.during the video, i cant help but felt a rush of pride for being a malaysian citizen. somehow, the short stint as an exchange student in singapore brought out the patriotism in me.

the skybridge!!

the view from the skybridge is spectacular! even the elevators that we ride to reach skybridge was cool =)

view from the skybridge. check out the cars that looked like miniature models

the brightly lit twin towers at night

we went to the Menara Kuala Lumpur too. from the lrt station, we had to walked past a “hutan simpanan” in the city.

lush greeneries right in the heart of a bustling city

Menara Kuala Lumpur is perched upon Bukit Nanas and stands at 421metres tall. it offers the highest view of the city. there is an admission fees of RM8 for adult and RM3 for children.

a breezy picture of us with the malaysia flag outside the Menara Kuala Lumpur

although the view from the Menara Kuala Lumpur was nothing short of panoromic too, i still prefer the skybridge visit.

Petaling street =)

i brought the girls to Petaling Street. as most of my friends are foreigners, they are simply thrilled about chinatown. its interesting how some stuff that are so common to us that we took it for granted are so intriguing to other people. the girls loved the food there. all of them especially liked the famous “lo han guo” drink. there’s nothing like enjoying chilled lo han guo to quench your thirst on a hot day.

we took a time out at mcdees while waiting for the rest that are still bargaining away in petaling street

and of course we shopped like a shopaholic at bukit bintang. us, being girlie gals,with our backpackers hostel just a walking distance away, its hard to resist the temptations. all of us bought quite a bit of stuff and had trouble stuffing them into our backpack on our last day.

the bustling streets of Bukit Bintang that brings back fond memories

although the trip was 2 years back and i had been to KL a lot of times with different company, being at Bukit Bintang always reminds me so much of the girls and what an awesome time we had. how we held each other hands when crossing the busy roads as some of them are actually terrified by KL traffic. the tired but satiated walk back to our hostel as we passed by the brightly lit shops. how i would smile as my friends was squealing with excitement at some stuff that we are so used to having that we took it for granted. =)

Dumbo the Elephant Had a Fall

i slipped, skidded on my butt for quite a distance and hurt my elbows.  -_-’ i caused quite a din and my entire family stopped whatever they were doing and came over to take a look. even though it actually hurt, i couldnt stop laughing. the first thing my bro said to me right after that was , “wow, u skidded all the way from here!!” -_-’

one of the best things about being at home is i get fussed about over the smallest things when i am hurt or unwell. my parents keep asking me where did it hurt and is it serious. they were contemplating taking me to get an “urut”. when i refused, they actually wanted to get me to take an X-ray!!haha..i was so alarmed.

ok. it did hurt and it STILL hurts now. i cant really move my arms much. but i am pretty sure my bones are still intact. it would have been excruciatingly painful if i break my bones right?i am just worried it might be dislocated. i am praying like mad and telling my elbow that its gonna be all right by tomorrow and i will be able to go to work like usual.

today was a good day at work. i was late but got away as my boss wasnt in office =) one of my colleagues watched time traveller’s wife already and we discussed about it shortly. now, i cant wait to watch it. initially, after reading the book, i still wanted to watch the movie but was not so keen as it was soo sad.=((

later, i spent quite a bit of time reminiscing with my other colleagues what were the first tasks assigned to us when we first started out, what was the best parts about auditing and what were the parts that we dread most. its interesting as everyone is so different. we were all getting a little nostalgic as one of my colleagues are leaving and it will be her last day come this friday. i am gonna miss her. her laughter, sense of humour and how she always reassures me and coaches me patiently, how we will start singing together and burst out laughing as before that, both of us were so silently concentrating on our work but just burst into a song at the same point.but well, i guess  goodbyes are part and parcel of life. i still have not really learn how to deal with that gracefully. i still whine and pout like a small schoolchild when its time to bade farewells.

guess what, while i am writing this post that is titled dumbo the elephant had a fall, a friend actually called me dumbo. ok, i had always loved random coincidence. but not particularly of this nature though.

I Want Longer Nights Too

its 12.53am now. way beyond my usual bedtime hours but i still feel wide awake.yet i dont feel like doing what i am supposed to do. found myself doing something i used to do during my student days. i get weird dreams easily. more often than not, i found myself dreaming about formulas i had been studying or my write-ups. so i used to have a ritual of listening to a few of my favourite songs to relax my brain before going to bed. and i m doing that right now. =)

its such a conducive time to blog now. the weather is nice and i am feeling all melancholic. i had realised that its easier to blog when i am either feeling extremely bubbly or extremely melancholic. no wonder i had been getting mental  block ever since i started working. life seems to be much more stale and pale in comparison. there’s less stuff to be excited about. the upside is, there’s less stuff that i feel indignant about too. its always just work, work and more work, feeling stressed and meeting deadlines. i guess i need to allocate more time to doing stuff i loved. these days, the only ritual that i manage to maintain is reading post secrets and bedtime reading=)

almost done with time traveller’s wife. but its so sad i cried reading it. its beautiful but excruciatingly sad. why do love have to be intensified by absence?

Sunday Afternoon

my head throbs and i feel like sticking a tube through my temple to drain out whatever that’s causing me such discomfort. shopping for clothes in air conditioned spaces did not help to ease the discomfort much. now that i stay all cooped up in air conditioned rooms all day, i am highly sensitive to heat. it gives me terrible headaches. even my book cant stand the heat. its a little out of shape from the heat as i left it in the car when i went shopping =(

i hate mondays.

Back but Jaded

my recent disappearance is attributed to the fact that i had joined the workforce!!not exactly one of the happiest phases in life but hey, we all have to move on some time or other and for me its now. for the past month or so, i had been struggling with the transition. i was prepared for the long working hours, lack of social life and time to do stuff that we had all taken for granted but what caught me off guard was the fact that work has actually stripped off some of my bubbly and vivacious personality and i am jaded now. how i detest that word. but lucky for me, i am still my good old self come weekends. with the help of time, i am now trying to achieve a balance between my jaded self and the vivacious old me. i had been making a conscious effort to allocate time to do stuff that i used to had great passion for to keep my sanity and to vivify my life such as blogging and reading. really, i should be applauded for the fact that i managed to publish a post tonight =)

i had the chance to meet various people during my course of work and like life in general, there are pleasant ones and not so pleasant ones. some of our clients viewed us as law enforcers for are trying to make life difficult for them with our unreasonable requests. and no matter how unpleasant they can be, i had to wear a smile, grit my teeth and patiently explain that, no, we arent trying to be difficult and these are standard procedures. and no, we cant just assume everything is in order, we need physical evidence to prove it.

but then again, i had also met really really nice people that go out of their way to make lives easier for us even though they arent obliged to do that. like today, i woke up to a terrible sore throat and minor headache. so, during stocktake (it was my first one) i brought along my gigantic water bottle. trust me, it was no small feat trying to juggle that with a writing pad, pencil, calculator AND to count the inventory. the staff that assisted me during the stocktake actually volunteered and offered to help me carry my water bottle. i was too shy to accept the offer but he insisted so i accepted the offer. i know it was a simple gesture but it made my day. not in a big way but its comforting to know that in this selfish era, they are people who are kind too.

edit: despite everything, its nice to be back at home. that day when my dad heard me complaining about my sore throat, he “tapaoed” some bitter but effective herbal tea for me on his way back from work =)

Avalanche

i am overwhelmed, burnt out and sick. i felt as if an avalanche had just rolled off a mountain and landed on me and i am buried deep beneath. wait, literally, an avalanche of tasks to be done has landed on me.

i dont feel my usual self at all. in fact, the current me is like a total stranger. i felt alienated. its as though i am just an empty shell living each day, completing the task thats required of me, fulfilling my role. i miss the old bubbly me that gets excited at all the simple things in life, the me that welcomes tomorrow with a smile no matter how crappy today had been.

in less than 3 weeks, i have a trip and finals examination that marked the end of my student days. these days, i am so nostalgic its getting depressing. i seem to dread the future so much that i had lost track of the time line. and staring at the calendar didnt help. i am just stucked in a time warp i had enclosed myself in subconsciously. i cant sleep properly. each morning, i wake up to bizarre nightmares and feeling as though i had just lay in bed all the time without getting a wink of sleep.

i want to just sleep and not wake up.

i was random, impulsive and reckless. recently i did something that is very uncharacteristic of me. luckily so far, there had been no negative ramnifications from that yet.

i need a hug and rainbows