Despite the imminent dawn of my 1st day at work at KPMG, there are still
fleeting moments that i felt that all this is so surreal. I had finally gather
up enough courage to leave my sandbox and luckily, i am granted the opportunity
to do so. The prospect of finally leaving my warm and safe sandbox is all
exciting yet daunting at the same time. A part of me cant wait for next week to
come as after years of procrastinating, I am finally taking the big step. But of
course, there is another small part of me, the “penakut” in me that is still
apprehensive of all things. Being in a new environment, socialising with new
colleagues, being on my own and learning how to take care of myself.
Somehow, I felt that no matter what is in store in the future for me, I can feel
that you are proud of me that I had finally take things into my own hand
(actually its more like grabbing the opportunity that is thrusted into my hands)
and had decided to just ignore the “penakut” in me and take a big step forward.
I recall the last time we had a conversation about our emails correspondence, it
wasnt all that happy stuff. You were severely disappointed and angry with me and
the most infuriating part will be that I cant even see the reason why you are so
upset with me.
Checklist of emotions invoked:
A) During the time this letter was supposed to be sent out-
1. Proud – Definitely. Maybe even an understatement. Among all steps, the first step out of the sandbox is always the hardest. Nonetheless, it wass a deed well done.
2. Disappointed – Severely is also an understatement. The good thing about disappointment is that, it gets forgotten after a good night’s rest.
3. Angry – Never did, in the traditional sense of the word ‘Angry’. ‘Angry’ here is sometimes a gambit used to bring about changes, to moot a point across, to make words ring in a person’s inner ear or all together at the same time.